What Actually Goes Wrong When Conversations Escalate

When conversations escalate, it is easy to focus on behavior, words, or outcomes we want to change. What often goes unnoticed is what is happening beneath the surface.

Last Thursday, I had the honor of joining Mom Dentists in Business 2026 as a guest speaker, leading a session on conflict resolution and communication.

What we explored together was simple, but powerful.

Over the years, I have noticed something consistent across families, teams, and leadership spaces. When conflict becomes difficult or prolonged, it is rarely about the issue itself. It is about how we are communicating once emotions are high.

What shapes whether a conversation settles or spirals often comes down to a few key elements:

• How tone and pacing shape safety in conversations
• Why clarity disappears when we feel rushed or threatened
• What helps conversations de-escalate instead of spiral

One of the core tools we worked with was giraffe language. Not as a concept to memorize, but as a way of slowing down, staying present, and choosing connection over control when things feel hard.

What became clear very quickly is this. 

The same communication patterns show up everywhere.
In leadership meetings. In team dynamics. At the dinner table.

Giraffe language shifts the focus away from winning, fixing, or controlling the outcome and brings attention back to connection, awareness, and what is happening inside us as we speak.

And if you’re noticing similar challenges in your own home right now, this is a supportive place to start.

This is not about fixing yourself or anyone else.
It is about understanding what is asking for attention and support.

This coming Thursday, January 29, 2026, I’ll be continuing this conversation with the Mom Dentists in Business community, exploring how these same tools bring more clarity, steadiness, and connection to leadership and family life.